10 Simple Sayings From BUDDHA That Will Change Your Life

Buddha Living

Buddha gained a huge amount of fame during his lifetime for simply offering basic advice for everyday living.

Far removed from the priests that believed they were “chosen”, Buddha was accessible to anyone who lived nearby.

Peasants, government officials, and kings were all treated with the same amount of respect and advice.

To him, there was no difference between them.

That’s why when we read Buddha’s words, we’re actually getting his unfiltered view of what he thought about happiness, simple living, and finding peace.

Here are 10 quotes from him that will change your perspective on life- and show you a new way of thinking and being.

1. Find Your Purpose

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”

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2. Let Go of Anger

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

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3. Take Action

“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.”

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4. Be Resilient

“Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.”

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5. Share Your Happiness

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

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6. Look Within

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. But once mastered, no one can help you as much.”

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7. Be Compassionate

“Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.”

8. Have No Fear

“Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.”

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9. Help Someone

“If you light a lamp for someone else it will also brighten your path.”

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10. Do Not Judge

“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.”

How to pray in your darkest ever moments

The Garden of Gethesemane today.

 On one of the worst days of my life I strode out of the house and over the hills.

It was summer. The sun was warm and pleasant, the sky was a pleasingly deep shade of blue and there was a gentle breeze.

But although it was such a beautiful day, I felt shrouded in darkness as I walked. The relentless pressure from seemingly impossible circumstances was taking its toll. I felt like the poet Gerard Manley Hopkins who once wrote: 'O the mind, mind has mountains; cliffs of fall – frightful, sheer, no-man-fathomed.'

The agony of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane as he faced the imminent prospect of his own crucifixion must have been far worse of course. And yet – somehow – in that valley of the shadow of death, Jesus managed to pray.

As we continue our fortnightly pilgrimage through Mark's gospel we stand upon holy ground as we see Jesus throwing himself on the earth (Mark 14:35) and praying in agony. What can we ourselves learn from how he prayed?

 1. He asked his friends to support him. Mark notes that Jesus takes with him Peter, James and John (v33) – no doubt because he wished for their company and their help. But he quickly found out – when his friends fell asleep – that they could not be relied upon. And we, too, may rightly seek help from others. But we also may do well to remember that even the best-intentioned human friends may let us down in our greatest time of need.

2. He spoke intimately with God. 'Abba, Father,' Jesus begins his prayer (v36), using the Aramaic word which always denotes intimate affection and devotion. Jesus remembered that however painful his situation was, he could speak to God not as some distant impersonal force and still less as a hostile, uncaring deity – but rather as his heavenly father. And so can we.

3. He remembered God's sovereignty. The first thing he says to God is, 'For you all things are possible'. We can only pray because God is sovereign – God is the King who reigns. Ultimately God is in control – even when evil seems to have the upper hand, we don't understand what he is doing and it is incredibly painful. It is the recognition that with God all things are possible that drives us to prayer in the first place.

4. He said what he wanted. 'Remove this cup from me' is what Jesus boldly asks. That's quite a request. On one level it is perfectly understandable: no-one would want to go through the excruciating pain of crucifixion. On another level, it is the salvation of the world about which we are talking here and yet – extraordinarily – Jesus is able to say clearly that he would like the cup to be removed. I can see no reason why we cannot be completely open and honest with God about exactly what we would like too.

5. He submitted himself to God's will. Having stated what he wants, Jesus then adds: 'Yet not what I want, but what you want,' (v36). True prayer always seeks to align itself with the will of God, recognising that, 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are God's ways higher than our ways and His thoughts than our thoughts,' (Isaiah 55:9).

It's sobering to realise that the answer to Jesus' prayer was 'no'. The cup was not removed from him. Our agonies will never approach his, for none of us will have to bear the sins of the world. And yet as Tom Wright comments: 'If even Jesus received that answer – no – to one of his most heartfelt prayers, we should not be surprised if sometimes it's that way for us too.'

My prayers on the hills on that bleakest, darkest sunlit day were not answered with a 'yes' at once either. And yet, looking back, I can see God was doing things I could never have imagined at the time. Moreover there have been times since when I have seen God answer prayer with breath-taking specificity in wildly improbable ways. Prayer is not about putting money in a slot machine and getting chocolate out of the bottom. It's about a relationship with a God who may well take us through pain to accomplish things well beyond our mental horizon.

As Robert Velarde has written: 'When Jesus prayed in Gethsemane, "Yet not as I will, but as You will," He offered a tremendous but seemingly simple insight into prayer: God is in charge.' And so as I go through my day today I pray simply: 'Lord, keep me in the centre of your will – even when I don't know what it is.' Amen.

David Baker is a former daily newspaper journalist now working as an Anglican minister in Sussex, England. Find him on Twitter @Baker_David_A The Rough Guide to Discipleship is a fortnightly series.

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3 Wrong Thoughts That Can Stop Us From Receiving God's Provision

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." – Psalm 23:1(MEV)

All of us who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ are told that God will provide all that we need, but why is it that many of us suffer from lack? If God graciously provides all that we need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus, then why is it that many of us Christians appear poor or needy?

It's because we haven't really tapped into God's economy where, like David, we will be able to say "I shall not want."

 Wanting

All of us want something. It's perfectly normal to desire something we like. It's normal to desire a good life, a nice house, an abundant supply of food at the dining table, and a nice collection of clothes. And yes, it's perfectly normal to want to be happy.

One thing that hinders us from receiving the things we want, however, is that we are longing for the wrong things, for the wrong purposes. Even if we keep praying hard for something that we desperately like, we won't receive it because we ask the wrong things.

"...Yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure." (see James 4:2-3 NLT)

  It's Not About What You Ask

Moreover, friends, it's not about what we ask for. It's about why we ask for it. In Matthew 6, the Lord Jesus gives us the key to tapping into God's Kingdom economy, the economy where every child of God is provided for.

"Therefore, take no thought, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' (For the Gentiles seek after all these things.) For your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you." (Matthew 6:31-33 MEV)

Friends, it's easy to enter God's economy. If we are in Christ, we are already His children, and if we are His children, we are already blessed with all that we need (see Ephesians 1:3). In fact, all the good that God has in His hands is available for us anytime! (see Luke 15:31; Psalm 84:11)

Pursue The Right Things

Friends, we must realise that while God can give us pretty much anything we can ever think of asking Him for, what matters to Him is the reason why we ask. Are we seeking Him and His Kingdom first? Are we prioritising Him and His priorities ahead of our own?

Better yet, have we abandoned our selfish and worldly desires, and pursued God our Father instead? Seeking Him above all is the key to enter His economy. Let's do it right.

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Why losing a dog can be harder than losing a relative or friend

Dogs are a huge part of their owners’ routines – which makes their loss even more jarring. 'Silhouette' via www.shutterstock.com

Recently, my wife and I went through one of the more excruciating experiences of our lives – the euthanasia of our beloved dog, Murphy. I remember making eye contact with Murphy moments before she took her last breath – she flashed me a look that was an endearing blend of confusion and the reassurance that everyone was ok because we were both by her side.

When people who have never had a dog see their dog-owning friends mourn the loss of a pet, they probably think it’s all a bit of an overreaction; after all, it’s “just a dog.”

However, those who have loved a dog know the truth: Your own pet is never “just a dog.”

Many times, I’ve had friends guiltily confide to me that they grieved more over the loss of a dog than over the loss of friends or relatives. Research has confirmed that for most people, the loss of a dog is, in almost every way, comparable to the loss of a human loved one. Unfortunately, there’s little in our cultural playbook – no grief rituals, no obituary in the local newspaper, no religious service – to help us get through the loss of a pet, which can make us feel more than a bit embarrassed to show too much public grief over our dead dogs.

Perhaps if people realized just how strong and intense the bond is between people and their dogs, such grief would become more widely accepted. This would greatly help dog owners to integrate the death into their lives and help them move forward.

An interspecies bond like no other

What is it about dogs, exactly, that make humans bond so closely with them?

For starters, dogs have had to adapt to living with humans over the past 10,000 years. And they’ve done it very well: They’re the only animal to have evolved specifically to be our companions and friends. Anthropologist Brian Hare has developed the “Domestication Hypothesis” to explain how dogs morphed from their grey wolf ancestors into the socially skilled animals that we now interact with in very much the same way as we interact with other people.

Perhaps one reason our relationships with dogs can be even more satisfying than our human relationships is that dogs provide us with such unconditional, uncritical positive feedback. (As the old saying goes, “May I become the kind of person that my dog thinks I already am.”)

This is no accident. They have been selectively bred through generations to pay attention to people, and MRI scans show that dog brains respond to praise from their owners just as strongly as they do to food (and for some dogs, praise is an even more effective incentive than food). Dogs recognize people and can learn to interpret human emotional states from facial expression alone. Scientific studies also indicate that dogs can understand human intentions, try to help their owners and even avoid people who don’t cooperate with their owners or treat them well.

Not surprisingly, humans respond positively to such unrequited affection, assistance and loyalty. Just looking at dogs can make people smile. Dog owners score higher on measures of well-being and they are happier, on average, than people who own cats or no pets at all.

Like a member of the family

Our strong attachment to dogs was subtly revealed in a recent study of “misnaming.” Misnaming happens when you call someone by the wrong name, like when parents mistakenly calls one of their kids by a sibling’s name. It turns out that the name of the family dog also gets confused with human family members, indicating that the dog’s name is being pulled from the same cognitive pool that contains other members of the family. (Curiously, the same thing rarely happens with cat names.)
It’s no wonder dog owners miss them so much when they’re gone.

Psychologist Julie Axelrod has pointed out that the loss of a dog is so painful because owners aren’t just losing the pet. It could mean the loss of a source of unconditional love, a primary companion who provides security and comfort, and maybe even a protégé that’s been mentored like a child.

The loss of a dog can also seriously disrupt an owner’s daily routine more profoundly than the loss of most friends and relatives. For owners, their daily schedules – even their vacation plans – can revolve around the needs of their pets. Changes in lifestyle and routine are some of the primary sources of stress.

According to a recent survey, many bereaved pet owners will even mistakenly interpret ambiguous sights and sounds as the movements, pants and whimpers of the deceased pet. This is most likely to happen shortly after the death of the pet, especially among owners who had very high levels of attachment to their pets.

While the death of a dog is horrible, dog owners have become so accustomed to the reassuring and nonjudgmental presence of their canine companions that, more often than not, they’ll eventually get a new one.

So yes, I miss my dog. But I’m sure that I’ll be putting myself through this ordeal again in the years to come.

Frank T. McAndrew, Cornelia H. Dudley Professor of Psychology, Knox College
This article was originally published on The Conversation.

5 Uses For Egg Cartons

Egg cartons ingeniously cradle fragile cargo. The standard model—known as a 2×6 in packaging parlance—is made of molded recycled paper. You can give that paper yet another life by reusing the cartons in these resourceful ways.

 

Seedling Base

If you’re interested in maintaining small plants like flowers, egg cartons are a great and efficient way to bloom your seedlings. Simply fill each section up with your fertilizer and plant the seed. You’ll have a dozen small plants neatly organized in their early stages of life.

Feed birds

Trim off the lid, thread string through holes in each corner of the tray, fill the cups halfway with birdseed, and hang in a tree.

Fire the grill

Melt candle scraps in a double boiler, then fill each cup halfway with sawdust. Carefully ladle the wax over the sawdust, and let it cool. Each cup can now serve as a fire starter—just light the edge.

Paint Cups

Building on the idea of crafting, you can also use cartons as a palette for your paint. They conveniently store all your colors right next to each other.

Crafts

There are countless ways people use leftover egg cartons for crafts. They have been turned into Christmas ornaments, room lights, and Christmas wreaths, with a bit of imagination you could do basically anything!

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Create Family Moments and Memories this Summer

(Family Features) Take advantage of slower summer schedules and warmer weather by rounding up the family and heading to the backyard for fun, food and family time.

The opportunities for quality family time during the warmer months are nearly endless, especially with just a little creativity and ingenuity, like these fun summer ideas from Borden Cheese.

Let your inner kid run free
Celebrate your favorite summer memories with your kids by breaking out the flashlights to play tag and other fun games in the backyard all night long. Whether it’s kick the can, ghost in the graveyard, capture the flag or a good, old-fashioned game of hide and seek, backyard games are a great way to get the whole family to unplug and enjoy summer evenings together. Don’t be surprised if the neighbors join in the fun, too.

Fire up your appetite
Ditch the kitchen and get the whole family engaged by recreating everyone’s favorite pizza on the grill. The perfect base for everyone to cook up their own creations, this deliciously easy Cheesy Flatbread Pizza recipe can be enjoyed by adults and kids alike. Keep it simple for kids with Borden Cheese Mild Cheddar Shreds or dress it up with some fresh veggies straight from your garden or local farmer’s market. For added fun and flavor, toss your family’s pizza on the grill for a crispy, authentic crust.

Rethink family movie night
Get off the couch and take your family movie outside. All you need is a sheet, a projector and some comfy pillows and throws to turn your backyard into an open-air movie theater. Watch new releases, old favorites or even home movies on the big screen right in your own backyard. To keep the fun going, pitch a tent and spend the night outside sleeping under the stars.
Find more family-friendly recipes for summer at BordenCheese.com.

Cheesy Flatbread Pizza

Cook time: 25 minutes
Servings: 4

• 1          piece (12 inches) cracker bread or flatbread
• 1          tablespoon olive oil, plus additional for brushing
• 1          package (8 ounces) Borden Cheese Mild Cheddar Shreds, divided
• 8          strips thick-sliced bacon, cooked crisp and broken into 1-inch pieces
• 4          whole garlic cloves, sliced
• 4          plum tomatoes, sliced
• 1/2       red onion, cut in strips
• 1/4       cup chopped Italian parsley
• fresh basil leaves (optional)

1. Heat oven to 400° F.
2. Brush bread with small amount of olive oil and place on cookie sheet. Spread 1 1/2 cups cheese evenly around bread. Top evenly with bacon pieces.
3. In small skillet over medium heat, heat 1 tablespoon olive oil until hot. Add garlic and saute until lightly browned. Sprinkle onto pizza. Arrange sliced tomatoes and red onions on pizza.
4. Add parsley to remaining cheese and spread over ingredients.
5. Bake 10 minutes, or until cheese is melted. Cut into squares and serve immediately. Garnish with fresh basil leaves, if desired.  

Tip: For a different flavor profile, try grilling pizza rather than baking. Brush raw side of dough with olive oil and grill until bottom of crust is golden brown.

SOURCE:
Borden Cheese

Dig Into 7 Game-Winning Dips

(Family Features) Although you may share a passion for a favorite sports team, not everyone has the same taste when it comes to the tailgating menu. Enter these seven dips: from a yogurt turmeric dip to spicy buffalo chicken dip, you’re sure to please nearly every game-day guest.

Visit McCormick.com or find McCormick on Facebook and Pinterest for more recipes to make your tailgating menu a winner.

Texas Trash Dip
There won’t be any trash talk when it comes to this dip. It’s the ultimate ooey, gooey, cheesy dish that’s sure to be all the rage at game-day parties and social gatherings.
 
Easy Buffalo Chicken Dip
Games and wings go hand-in-hand, but you can keep hands mess-free with this alternative that combines all the flavors of savory Buffalo chicken wings in a warm, creamy dip.

Sweet Georgia Peach and Pecan Dip
Think outside the box this season with a dip that is the perfect blend of salty and sweet. Bacon, Georgia peaches, sweet onions and a brown sugar bourbon marinade are complemented by pecans for a nutty, crunchy finish.

Creamy Turmeric and Cinnamon Dip
Low-fat yogurt and milk blend with golden turmeric and cinnamon for a tangy dip just waiting for crispy dippers like pita chips and veggies.

Roasted Carrot Yogurt Dip
Move over cheesy, chili dips – the tangy sweetness of orange juice, carrots and honey make for a simple dip you can feel good about devouring.

Spinach Artichoke and Dill Dip
Warm up with this crowd-pleasing dip made with fresh spinach, artichoke hearts, cream cheese and Parmesan.

Spicy Black Bean Dip
Simply mix together a can of black beans, chopped tomatoes and spices like chili powder and cumin for an easy dip to throw together for last-minute guests.
SOURCE:
McCormick

Why today's teens aren't in any hurry to grow up

In the past, kids couldn’t wait to get their driver’s licenses. Now? Not so much. Jenn Huls

Teens aren’t what they used to be.
The teen pregnancy rate has reached an all-time low. Fewer teens are drinking alcohol, having sex or working part-time jobs. And as I found in a newly released analysis of seven large surveys, teens are also now less likely to drive, date or go out without their parents than their counterparts 10 or 20 years ago.

Some have tried to explain certain aspects of these trends. Today’s teens are more virtuous and responsible, sociologist David Finkelhor has argued. No, says journalist Jess Williams, they’re just more boring. Others have suggested that teens aren’t working because they are simply lazy.

However, none of these researchers and writers has been able to tie everything together. Not drinking or having sex might be considered “virtuous,” but not driving or working is unrelated to virtue – and might actually be seen as less responsible. A lower teen pregnancy rate isn’t “boring” or “lazy”; it’s fantastic.

These trends continued even as the economy improved after 2011, suggesting the Great Recession isn’t the primary cause. Nor is more schoolwork: The average teen today spends less time on homework than his counterparts did in the 1990s, with time spent on extracurricular activities staying about the same.

To figure out what’s really going on, it’s worth taking a broader look at today’s teens – a generation of kids I call “iGen” – and the environment they’re living in.

A different culture, a slower path

Working, driving, drinking alcohol, having sex and dating have one thing in common: They are all activities adults do. This generation of teens, then, is delaying the responsibilities and pleasures of adulthood.

Adolescence – once the beginning of adulthood – now seems to be an extension of childhood. It’s not that teens are more virtuous or lazier. They could simply be taking longer to grow up.

Looking at these trends through the lens of “life history theory” might be useful. According to this model, whether development is “slow” (with teens taking longer to get to adulthood) or “fast” (getting to adulthood sooner) depends on cultural context.

A “slow life strategy” is more common in times and places where families have fewer children and spend more time cultivating each child’s growth and development. This is a good description of our current culture in the U.S., when the average family has two children, kids can start playing organized sports as preschoolers and preparing for college can begin as early as elementary school. This isn’t a class phenomenon; I found in my analysis that the trend of growing up more slowly doesn’t discriminate between teens from less advantaged backgrounds and those from wealthier families.
A “fast-life strategy,” on the other hand, was the more common parenting approach in the mid-20th century, when fewer labor-saving devices were available and the average woman had four children.

As a result, kids needed to fend for themselves sooner. When my uncle told me he went skinny-dipping with his friends when he was eight, I wondered why his parents gave him permission.
Then I remembered: His parents had six other children (with one more to come), ran a farm and it was 1947. The parents needed to focus on day-to-day survival, not making sure their kids had violin lessons by age five.

Is growing up slowly good or bad?

Life history theory explicitly notes that slow and fast life strategies are adaptations to a particular environment, so each isn’t inherently “good” or “bad.” Likewise, viewing the trends in teen behavior as “good” or “bad” (or as teens being more “mature” or “immature,” or more “responsible” or “lazy”) misses the big picture: slower development toward adulthood. And it’s not just teens – children are less likely to walk to and from school and are more closely supervised, while young adults are taking longer to settle into careers, marry and have children.

“Adulting” – which refers to young adults performing adult responsibilities as if this were remarkable – has now entered the lexicon. The entire developmental path from infancy to full adulthood has slowed.

But like any adaptation, the slow life strategy has trade-offs. It’s definitely a good thing that fewer teens are having sex and drinking alcohol. But what about when they go to college and suddenly enter an environment where sex and alcohol are rampant? For example, although fewer 18-year-olds now binge-drink, 21- to 22-year-olds still binge-drink at roughly the same rate as they have since the 1980s. One study found that teens who rapidly increased their binge-drinking were more at risk of alcohol dependence and adjustment issues than those who learned to drink over a longer period of time. Delaying exposure to alcohol, then, could make young adults less prepared to deal with drinking in college.

The same might be true of teens who don’t work, drive or go out much in high school. Yes, they’re probably less likely to get into an accident, but they may also arrive at college or the workplace less prepared to make decisions on their own.

College administrators describe students who can’t do anything without calling their parents. Employers worry that more young employees lack the ability to work independently. Although I found in my analyses that iGen evinces a stronger work ethic than millennials, they’ll probably also require more guidance as they transition into adulthood.

Even with the downsides in mind, it’s likely beneficial that teens are spending more time developing socially and emotionally before they date, have sex, drink alcohol and work for pay. The key is to make sure that teens eventually get the opportunity to develop the skills they will need as adults: independence, along with social and decision-making skills.

For parents, this might mean making a concerted effort to push your teenagers out of the house more. Otherwise, they might just want to live with you forever.
Jean Twenge, Professor of Psychology, San Diego State University
This article was originally published on The Conversation.

3 reasons why we are addicted to smartphones

What attaches us so deeply to our phones? Al Case, CC BY-NC-ND

Apple recently announced the launch of its iPhone 8 and iPhone X, which come with sleek, new features. Apple also hopes to start a new community around the iPhones. Ahead of the launch, Angela Ahrendts, head of retail at Apple, said their stores will be called “Town Squares,” and would double as public spaces, complete with outdoor plazas, indoor forums and boardrooms.

The much-anticipated product launch was followed by millions who watched the event via livestream and on internet forums, blogs and in the news media.

I, too, was among them.

So, what draws people to these phones? Surely, it is not just the groundbreaking design or the connection with a community. As a minister, psychotherapist and scholar studying our relationship with hand-held devices, I believe there is much more going on.

In fact, I’d argue, as I do in my book “Growing Down: Theology and Human Nature in the Virtual Age,” the phones tap into our basic yearnings as humans.
Here are my three reasons why we love our phones.

1. Part of an extended self

Our sense of self is shaped while we are still in the womb. The development of the self, however, accelerates after birth. A newborn, first and foremost, attaches herself to the primary caregiver and later to things – acquiring what has been called an “extended self.”

The leading 20th-century American psychologist William James was among the first to argue for an extended self. In his “Principles of Psychology,” James defined the self as “the sum total of all that a man can call his, not only his body and his psychic powers, but his clothes and his house, his wife and children.” Losing any of this extended self, which could include money or another prized object, as he explained, could lead to a sense of great loss. In early childhood, for example, babies and toddlers cry if they suddenly lose their pacifier or favorite soft toy, objects that become part of their extended selves.

Phones become part of our extended selves? Nicki Dugan Pogue, CC BY-SA

Phones, I argue, play a similar role. It is not uncommon for me to feel a sudden onset of anxiety should I drop my phone or am unable to find it. In my experience, many individuals feel the same way. It is also reflected in how often many of us check our devices.

Psychologist Larry Rosen and his colleagues at California State University found that 51 percent of individuals born in the 1980s and 1990s experienced moderate to high levels of anxiety when they were kept from checking in with their devices for more than 15 minutes. Interestingly, the percentage drops slightly – to 42 percent – for those born between 1965 and 1979.

This is primarily because they came into being during a time where hand-held technologies were only beginning to make their entry. For this group, phones became part of their extended self only as late teens or as young adults.

2. Recalling caring relationships

Not just extended selves, smartphones in particular, with their games, apps and notifications, have become an essential aspect of our sense of self.

And here’s how:

Drawing on psychodynamic theory, which holds that childhood experiences shape personality, I argue that our relationship with technology mirrors the environment our parents created in caring for us. This environment, as British psychiatrist Donald W. Winnicott writes, functions around touch, a keen awareness of what the infant needs, and establishing and maintaining eye contact.

In the same way, we, as adults, reexperience touching and belonging through our phones. Technology affords a space where the self can be satisfied, play and feel alive – a space previously provided by caregivers.

When we hold our phones, it reminds us of moments of intimacy – whether from our childhood or from our adult life. The brain chemical dopamine and love hormone oxytocin, which play a role in the addiction “high,” kick in. These chemicals also create a sense of belonging and attachment.

Phone addiction? Tiffany Nevin, CC BY-NC-ND

Holding our phone has the same effect as when a parent looks lovingly at her child or when two lovers gaze into each other’s eyes. In the words of Apple executive Philip Schiller: The iPhone X “learns who you are.”

Theological reflection also supports what we have learned about dopamine and oxytocin. The Judeo-Christian tradition, for example, identifies God as an intimate God who seeks face time and creates caring environments. In Bible, Numbers 6:24-26, we read:

“The Lord bless you and protect you. The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his face to you and grant you peace.”

3. Fulfills need to produce and reproduce

Anthropologist Michael Taussig reminds us that it is in our “second nature to copy, imitate, make models, [and] explore difference” as we try to become a better or different self.

Phones help us do that. We take pictures, manipulate images, join discussions, curate a selfie and reach out to others. By texting back and forth, we weave together a conversation. Through searching, we become knowledgeable (even if we lack wisdom). Thus, we join ancestors who painted on cave walls and told stories around fires.

It should not come as a surprise then that smartphones currently account for 46 percent of all internet use. This is expected to grow to 75 percent by 2021. We are destined, it seems, to live with our phones in hand.

Living with technology

Having said this, sometimes, however, I would argue, we need to show up in person and make a difference.

We can be disappointed if we limit our spaces and relationships to small screens or to “town squares.” We need intimate relationships where we give and receive touch, where we gaze into someone’s eyes. We also need spaces – some will be online – where deep connections can be made, where we can rest, play and discover.

So, as some of us head over to the Town Square to purchase the latest iPhone or venture online, it would be best to remember the dictum of historian of technology Melvin Kranzberg:

“Technology is neither good nor bad; nor is it neutral.”

Jaco J. Hamman, Associate Professor of Religion, Psychology, and Culture, Vanderbilt University
This article was originally published on The Conversation.