Life can throw unexpected curve balls that seem to break everything. We
can make mistakes that land us in hotter water than we imagined was
possible. Thankfully, life is about the journey, not the destination. We
are made to suffer, so we can learn and grow from the experience. I
know that seems like a thin blanket on a cold night, nut maybe the
reminder that all things are impermanent is more helpful.
This pain, this unhappiness, this mistake, will not plague you and yours
forever, though I know it seems like it could. Below are four
suggestions to help you speed up the pace of this ‘lesson’. I don’t
presume to know your situation to the ‘t’, but I have suffered before
and know it’s no fun. I would recommend that if you follow these
suggestions, you do them in the order presented but you know your
situation best so you do what you feel is best.
Realize And Acknowledge the Truths In Your Situation
The first step is going to be one of the hardest. No matter what, life
continues to march forward at a seemingly cold hearted pace.
Acknowledging that here isn’t where you intended to be, is the first
step to getting back on your path and to your pace. So breathe and
acknowledge some facts. You aren’t where you want to be, but why?
Where would you rather be? What about your current situation is causing
you suffering? Is your current situation leading towards a happy and
productive resolution or more suffering?
Ask yourself questions about the fundamental aspects of your life. It
may help to write them down. Honestly acknowledge that this is your
current reality. Without fear name what is wrong with the current
picture. Those negative elements are already doing you harm, calling
them out by name brings positive focus to them.
Love, Forgive, And Reach Out
Love yourself for realizing you are in a pickle. Not everyone can always
realize when they are in a bad place, and this lack of sight prevents
them from moving forward. You are taking the bull by the horns, and you
should be proud of this fact. If you are in this negative space with the
help of others and their careless influence, forgive them. Send them
waves of love and forgive them with the deepest love you can muster.
It’s ok if the first round of compassion and kindness isn’t that deep.
With emotions bubbling all over the place you’ll do it again, and with
each round of forgiving and love, the magnitude will grow and the
sincerity more easily projected. This person or institution was ruled by
fear or ego when they wronged you. More negativity won’t break the
cycle.
Don’t forget to forgive yourself. I always have to actively not beat
myself up for making similar mistakes every couple of months. As you
compassionately acknowledge life and willingly forgive start to reach
out to those you trust and who love you greatly. Even if it seems you’ve
got your recovery neatly in your hand, there is no reason to do it
alone.
Some would argue that braving a storm by yourself builds character, I
doubt that person ever stood in a true monsoon. While you probably could
do it alone, if you allow others to help you, everything associated
will benefit and recover faster.
Come Back To The Present
In acknowledging and forgiving you probably started to slide into the
past. You also, very well started to deviate to the expected and feared
future. You don’t know what the future holds for you, no matter how
clever or well informed you are. Your expectations will be direct
answers to your current fears and plight.
Do you really want your future to be dealing only with negativity? YOU
DESERVE MORE THAN THAT. Don’t let the past continue to hurt you either.
Acknowledge what happened, forgive, respect and love. Then release.
Back in the present you have your work cut out for you. Gather your wits
and support team.
Remove And Replace
In the present moment, start understanding what is causing you harm or
preventing you from doing necessary tasks. Some elements of life aren’t
actively negative but can hold up resources better suited for the task
at hand. Remove what doesn’t need to be in your life or anything that is
causing you pain. If your unsure at any point in time confer with your
support group.
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