“Don’t
destroy yourself by allowing negative people to add gibberish and
debris to your character, reputation, and aspirations. Keep all dreams
live but discreet, so that those with unhealthy tongues won’t have any
other option than to infest themselves with their own diseases.” – Michael Bassey Johnson, The Infinity Sign
Negative
people are similar to black holes in outer space – appearing from
nowhere while attempting to engulf everything else around them. Negative
as a person they may be, it is paramount – if not only for our own
healthy and sanity – to resolve the situation in an intelligent and
healthy way.
First,
it may be helpful to understand what constitutes a potentially negative
person. Negative people have a way of draining energy from others
around them. They’ll cause demean, attack and defame you; they’ll make
you feel unsafe, on guard or tense; they’ll send negative energy through
an unwanted vibe, or just flat-out dehumanize you. For some reason if
they cannot “reach you,” they’ll attack someone or something else you
care about.
So, how can you appropriately handle such people while still respecting their humanity? It’s
certainly not easy, as the negative among us would enjoy nothing more
than to witness an emotional outburst of frustration and discontent. The
problem is that by engaging in the behavior as mentioned earlier, you
simply feed their motivation.
In
good conscious, we cannot – nor should we – pretend to have the
ultimate solution as it pertains to negative people in your life. There
are, however, ways that you can (constructively) handle negative people
and their shenanigans without inflicting any type of self-harm.
HERE ARE 10 WAYS OF DEALING WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE:
1. DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
To
not “take things personally” is much easier said than done. Some
negative people after all will – at times – concentrate all of the
vitriolic behavior onto you.
The
problem with taking things personally with a negative person is that it
doesn’t lead anywhere. The only possible outcome is a perceived
“victory,” that they’ve managed to “hook” you.
2. DO NOT RATIONALIZE THEIR BEHAVIOR.
Many
people do not like conflict; this is something known as conflict
avoidance. As such, people on the receiving end of negative behavior
will attempt to reason with a negative person. It’s important to
remember that many negative people do not want to be “reasoned with.”
They
may need a compassionate ear at some point or another, but they’ll most
likely make such motives known in a more constructive manner.
3. LET THEM HEAR YOU
Not
every negative person intentionally acts negatively. For whatever
reason, they’ve simply adopted a negative mindset. That said, when
negative behavior repeatedly surfaces, it is time to make your voice
heard.
Sometimes,
those that are acting negatively without thought will perceive your
forthrightness as something not to be trifled with.
4. BE COMPASSIONATE
As mentioned, not everyone who behaves negatively intends to do so. When
we consciously attribute their negative acts to potentially extenuating
circumstances (personal problems, work-related stress, finances, etc.),
it’s easier to see their behavior for what it truly is – an act of
desperation and impulsiveness.
5. SEPARATE YOURSELF IF NEEDED
Being
exposed to negative behavior on a frequent basis can be mentally and
physically exhausting. We’ll instinctively know when a person is pushing
us past comfort zone. It is at this point that it’s necessary to get
away, if possible. We all have our limits; it’s nothing to be ashamed of
or ignore.
6. SMILE
Sometimes
a negative person’s perception of the world around them is skewed. This
can be attributed to anything, from childhood experiences to their
experiences at home or work. The simple act of smiling and maintaining a positive disposition may be enough to challenge these perceptions indirectly.
7. BE MATURE
When
a negative person presents themselves as a challenge or threat, it is
far too easy to “stoop” to childish behavior such as being impulsive or
insulting. In a way, this is a natural response, as no one appreciates
being in the company of someone with a negative outlook; however, it is
counterproductive, and only enables their (sometimes) immature mindset.
8. DO NOT JUDGE OR ASSUME
The truth is that we all develop differently, and negative people are sometimes given the short end of the stick. Being
judgmental or assumptive is evident through both verbal and non-verbal
cues; it is important to personally refrain from these signals, no
matter how tempting, when trying to resolve the situation posed by the
negative person.
9. SET POSITIVE BOUNDARIES
We
all heard the adage a million times: “control what you can control.”
Establishing and maintaining an environment of positivity often leads to
one of two results: (1) it protects you from their negative energy, or
(2) helps them feel – and possibly act – in a more positive manner.
Either way, either you and/or the other person are positively impacted.
10. MAINTAIN A REALISTIC POV
As
compassionate and caring people, we’ll often try our best to
accommodate and influence others that hold a more pessimistic, negative
frame of mind. It is important to remember, however, that your healthy outlook empowers you to help others. As
such, in the event that a negative person is trespassing and violating
your positive frame of mind, it may be necessary to end ties.
While
such a recommendation may seem harsh, it is important to understand
that many others will come along that may need your help. You cannot
(and should not) allow the unfavorable influences of one person to
compromise this.
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