Most
of us regularly encounter rude people, and they’re not always
strangers. While you might be on the receiving end of a mean comment or a
snappy remark on your morning commute or when you’re in a store, a lot
of the rudeness you’re subjected to probably comes from people you know
more intimately.
Partners,
bosses, coworkers and friends can all be offensive or hurtful
sometimes, and when they are you can feel a very strong urge to say
something abusive in return. After all, remarks like “Oh, I don’t think
that dress will fit you” or “I thought you’d have started a family by
now” can trigger a flurry of anger and shame.
Although
you have a right to defend yourself and give an honest reply, there are
ways to respond to rude people without lowering yourself to their
level.
Here are 9 comebacks you can try…
1. “Thank you”
Normally,
saying “thank you” indicates you appreciate someone’s thoughtfulness or
kindness. As a reply to a rude remark, however, “thank you” shows your
maturity while also clearly implying that you are choosing not to let the other person’s impoliteness affect you.
This has the power to shut someone down pretty quickly, and is an empowering way to take the path of calmness and positivity.
2. “I appreciate your opinion”
Saying
this indicates that you are firmly deciding to stay in the adult
position, even if the person you’re talking to is trying to goad you
into acting childishly.
When someone is rude to you, it actually indicates that they have
a shaky self-conception—they want to bring you down, but it’s up to you
whether you let them, and a remark like “I appreciate your opinion”
shows dignity.
As a bonus, it can sometimes shift a rude person into a more respectful mode of discourse.
3. “This conversation is over”
If
you’re starting to feel furious and are on the verge of losing your
temper, you can choose to exit the conversation before you lose the
ability to be civil.
Letting the person know that you’re ending the conversation allows you to leave without irreparably damaging your relationship or being a doormat.
4. “Why did you feel it was necessary to ask that, and do you really think I should answer?”
This
is a particularly useful comeback to a rude person who is prying or
making judgements on your personal life. It very clearly indicates that
you are taken aback by what has been said, and yet it allows you to keep
your cool instead of becoming irate.
Plus, if the person you’re talking to didn’t actually mean to overstep the line, they have an opening to apologize or rephrase.
5. “That almost hurt my feelings”
While
this is something of a sarcastic comeback, it’s just mature enough to
indicate that you’re not going to be deeply affected by the other
person’s attempt to needle you.
It shows that you refuse to absorb their poisonous negativity, and most people won’t see the point in offering rude follow-ups.
6. “You’re right”
Sometimes,
the best thing to do is let your conversation partner believe they were
in the right, just so you can end the conversation and move on.
You
can completely disengage after saying this, and it also denies a rude
person the pleasure of thinking they have managed to hurt or annoy you.
It’s not the most satisfying response, but in some contexts (e.g. at
work) it can be the smartest.
7. “You always have something negative to add to the conversation, don’t you?”
A
response like this immediately takes the focus off you and puts it
straight onto the rude person, forcing them to think a bit harder about
the words they tend to use.
It’s
likely that you’re not the only person on the receiving end of this
person’s terrible attitude, so you’re also doing others a favor by
highlighting the damage that perpetual negativity can cause.
8. “I love myself, and I love you as well”
Not
all contexts are appropriate for this type of reply, but when dealing
with loved ones it can be very effective at shutting down rudeness.
Kindness and love can overcome negativity, sucking all the power out of
rude remarks.
In
some cases, you’ll also ground the conversation, not only rebuffing the
other person’s negativity but reminding them that there is supposed to
be a loving relationship underneath the current pettiness.
9. Simply laugh
A rude person will likely feel ridiculous and embarrassed if you don’t even respond and simply choose to laugh instead!
Once
again, you’re offering proof that your outlook and mood won’t be
destroyed by this person’s cruelty or thoughtlessness, and you can also
diffuse some of the tension in the situation.
When dealing with rude people,
the main thing to remember is this: you get to choose how you react in
all situations, so choose positivity and happiness every time!
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