Thursday, December 8, 2016

How to deal with ungrateful people

How does one deal with ungrateful people?  Sometimes we need to step back and think about why we have to continue a relationship with ungrateful people.  Of course, if it is family members that might be a little difficult to do. Somebody asked this question and here are two answers from members of Ouora:
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I don't want to sound heartless but it's time to go your separate ways. There is no reason for you to continue suffering while he's living an easier life because of your support.

I was told a long time ago "you should never work twice as hard so someone else can work half as hard." I was told a few years before that, "heroes are only awarded posthumously."

You're acting like his hero or savior and you're the only one recognizing this.

Here's an odd analogy: remember the shoes you had when you were 5? Do you still own (possess)  them? Most likely not. Why? You outgrew them. You found shoes that fit much better; fit your personality much better; support you better.

Knowing when to cut your losses takes courage. Gather more courage and explain to him he needs to help carrying his weight. Let him know you care about him but also let him know you can't handle the added stress and pressures in your life because you're not receiving the emotional support you need to continue being successful.

I went through 18+ months of pain and anguish at the end of my marriage because I was the supportive partner in every way. I knew the relationship was over. I knew it was time to find new shoes. I hope you'll find your new shoes soon.

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One has many choices when dealing with people who are not grateful for the favours done towards them. Most of the times you decide your course of action depending on the kind of person you are interacting with.
  • If that person is a child, you obviously forgive him/her and teach them why they should respect the people who help them.
  • If that person is a teenager, you might want to forgive a few such mistakes of their’s. It’s because teenage is a time when a person goes through a lot of emotional changes, adolescents become over-confident or their self-esteem dwindles and one often becomes rude towards others. However, with maturity they realize their shortcomings and change their behaviour accordingly. You might want to explain to them why their attitude is wrong but don’t nag them much because teenagers are often irritated easily and your good intention might not go down well with them.
  • Now, coming to the age group of people you’ve probably posted this question in reference to. People in the age of 20–40 are usually career-driven and very practical. They are making their place in the world and most often than not, on their ambitious journeys they have experiences which make them wary of the real world. This is the most important reason why people now-a-days are letting go of courtesy and manners, and becoming more and more ungrateful towards those who helped them along the way.

    How you deal with them is entirely dependent upon your relationship with that person. In most cases, however, it is better to not think over why someone acted in this way and move on with your life. Sooner or later, people realize their mistakes and come back to you , and if they don’t then you know that it was best to let them go. The best way out of such situations is not to dwell over the actions of others. You don’t do good expecting a favour in return : you do it because you should help whoever you can along your way ! I’m not asking you to go out of your way to help others, but assisting fellow beings often makes one happy. I’ll quote late Princess Diana here :
 

  • Also, it proves helpful if you stay cautious of people who have been ungrateful to you in the past. Don’t stop doing good, but don’t over-do it for anyone.
  • For people who are older, it is probably in their very nature to be ungrateful. You might want to stay away from them and if you do help them, don’t do it with any expectations.

    Ultimately, don’t think much about anyone else and don’t become like the rest. Remember, good manners always pay you , so be humble to those who have helped you in your path and forget about the mob. :)

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