Sometimes in life,
we stumbled across situations in which we should’ve said no, but because of
various reasons such as being shy, ashamed or afraid we cannot firmly refuse,
and later we regret our weakness.
No matter what the
circumstances, how can we say no without having to hurt the other person’s
feelings? Although it is possible not to succeed, we can at least try to ease
the pain for the individual involved. Any answer that sounds like: “No, I won’t
give you what you want” means a great disappointment and a feeling of failure
for the one that came to you with the proposal. Remember that the idea of not
getting what they want is hard for everyone.
If in your mind
and heart you can foresee the possibility to accept a proposition, choose the
answer carefully. Under no circumstances use lines like:” What do you mean? Me
and You? Are you out of your mind?” Think a little bit and you will realize
that the person you are about to hurt so rudely made you a compliment by
waiting for your company or your help. Even if not interested, you should
answer in such a manner that won’t make him or her regret taking the risk to
ask.
Some help might be
the following list of advice combined with your personal experience.
Think carefully before giving an answer. Ask yourself
if there might be any circumstances that could make you take that proposition.
Express yourself as clearly and friendly as possible. Use sentences as: “If
only you didn’t live that far…” or “The thing is I’m not feeling well now”.
Use “I feel”
instead of “You make me feel.” There is no need for the other party to feel
guilty. Try and entertain an active conversation. Show and tell what you like about
him or her.
If you just know the other isn’t for you, don’t
give desert hope. You have to refuse firmly, but elegantly.
If you are tempted
to accept but still have doubts, then you can give some hope, and the next step
will have to be yours.
Any situations
that become a threat and the person is too pushy and makes you feel
uncomfortable is a situation that requires a drastic approach. Then forget
about manners and stop being polite, act firmly and set boundaries.
Many of us
encounter difficulty whenever we have to say no. If you are in this situation,
practice and learn about this because it is better to refuse than to regret
later.
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